With this paper I was trying to prove a common misconception in writing. The main point in my paper is that "flowery" writing is not as effective in captivating a reader, but if a person uses concise, direct writing they will have no problem keep the reader entertained. I supported my claim by searching for articles containing peoples opinion on whether "flowery" writing is good or bad. One of my arguments is that teachers are contributors to this misconception and encouraging this bad habit. I believe that my introduction is strong and sets up the rest of the article. The body of the piece may need more work, but I think its adequate for this piece. If I had more time I would've elaborated on more ways that "flowery" writing can plague a person writing.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/78825209/Final-Draft
I believe after reading this paper, that your main point was to keep writers and students from writing "flowery" because it distracts from the main point of the sentence. When sentences are filled with flowery words, it makes sentences confusing and lengthy. Writing flowery is encouraged in schools because teachers ask it and because they have a length limit to their papers which make kids put more monotonous words in. Flowering also makes writing redundant, making it harder for the reader to get to the main point. The use of verbs that are intriguing and descriptive is a better way to get attention than using flowering words. This was great! I defiantly see your point and cant wait to edit!
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I think you did a great job on this paper. I like your style, pictures and your use of bringing subtitles into the paper. I enjoyed your examples and think you did a great job on organizing and stating your point. This style of writing and physical format is great for the magazine type article. Make sure to go back and give background information and why you are reexamining this construct. Sometimes your sentences were a little long and could be more concise. The information is really great in them but because it is a magazine i would break it up so that it may be a little easier to read. But, you were convincing and picked good sources to represent your point.! good job! make sure to ask me if you have questions. i enjoyed editing your paper!
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